AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
