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I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
