Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
