I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
