dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
