FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
