I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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