i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
