flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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