I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
