Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
