yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Randomize
