Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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