I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
