yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
