I think my fart just growled at me.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
