i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
