I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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