even my farts smell like vagina
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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