he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
