im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
where am i from again
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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