dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
