Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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