im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
