What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
