is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
