I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
