Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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