The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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