But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
