I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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