I want to walk on stilts...naked
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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