I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
well I can't set my house on fire every night
if only i could text you this smell
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
