he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
