Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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