i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
