proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
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