whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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