is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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