12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
third nipple confirmed
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
