Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
