Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
