Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
