the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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