I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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