i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
