sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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