RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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