Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
