I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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