I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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