I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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