Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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