He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I wish you could order shots online.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
