Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
