wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
