It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
