I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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