What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
