she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
