It's Friday. Sex?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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