i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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