had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
