I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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