woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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