I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
