i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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